Laissez-faire since 1996

Now wait just a minute, rice

Thursday, January 28, 2010

I guess truth in advertising can be a touchy subject. My syrup bottle doesn't talk to me, no teddy bear giggles in my laundry room, I've never seen twins share a pack of gum, and my margarine certainly doesn't try to insist it's butter. Then there's Minute Rice, if by "minute" one means "five minutes or so." Hmm, speaking of rice...

Ready in 7 minutes! This is a packet I got at Save-A-Lot. I like it because it tastes just as good as the name-brand rice packets, but costs about half-a-buck less. But as I was making it tonight, something caught my eye.

One can plainly see the herald on the front proclaiming "Ready in 7 minutes!" Woohoo! I don't have to wait that long for my tasty cheddar and broccoli rice! Most excellent.

That is, until one actually reads the instructions.

Or, not. I'm sure there's been plenty of breakthrough advances in cooktop technology, but for me it still takes at least five minutes to bring water to a boil. Notwithstanding, the real kicker is in step two: simmer for ten minutes, then sit for two to three before serving. Uh, what? Seems a little more than seven to me. Well, maybe they mean if you microwave it. Oops, no dice. Twelve to fourteen. Yikes.

So I'm not really sure where "7 minutes" comes from. All I know is I conveniently had my rice on the table in, oh, less than twenty, but definitely more than ten. I'm not really complaining, but it certainly warrants a "WTF?"